One month later

Wow.

One month here.

Really, have I been here a month ALREADY?

or

It feels like I have been here for YEARS.

The past few days I had feelings of tiredness, unpreparedness, heat exhaustion, sickness, insect frustrations, desire for community, longings for wisdom, and oh so many questions.  I kept thinking "Is there any word that has greater meaning than being overwhelmed?? Beyondwhelmed? I need that word right now."

There is something that seems so romantic, beautiful, and awesomely adventurous about moving to the middle of the jungle.  The last few days have shown me just how messy and difficult this world I live in can be.  There is conflict, there is exhaustion, there is sickness, there is loneliness, there is lack of wisdom, and there is hardship.  And it has just been a month.  We are humans in the jungle.  Life here is just as imperfect as it is out of the jungle.  I am in constant need of the Lord and His peace.  Today, I listened to the melodious and beautiful voices of David Crowder Band literally singing about the deepest feelings of my being:


"Oh great God give us rest
We're all worn thin from all of this
At the end of our hope with nothing left
Oh great God give us rest"


God then gave me this:


"Sing for joy to God our strength; shout aloud to the God of Jacob!  Begin the music, strike the tambourine, play the melodious harp and lyre.  Sound the ram's horn at the New Moon, and when the moon is full, on the day of our Feast; this is a decree for Israel, an ordinance of the God of Jacob.  He established it as a statute for Joseph when he went out against Egypt, where we heard a language we did not understand.  He says, "I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket.  In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Meribah..."
Psalm 81:1-7


Wow.

Talk about awesome and perfect words.

God is HERE.  He brings me peace.  How often do I forget that He does that? How often do I forget WHO He is?  How often do I forget that He created the Universe? How often do I forget that He died on the cross for me? How often do I forget that He is with me through all of these jungle troubles? How often do I forget that I NEED His help? He is HERE when the jungle is an adventurous or breathtakingly mystical place.  And He is HERE when the jungle is overwhelming, scary, hot, or just plain unpleasant.  And I thank God that He gives me those scary and hectic days, because those days are the ones that I depend on Him the most.   I realize on those days His greatness and my smallness.  I realize on those days that He is always present in my life.

Some days are just a great pandemonium trying to control 15 crazy kindergartners who REALLY do not like to sit down.  Chairs a flying.  Blocks a tumbling.  Kids a squealing.

Other days are frustrating jumbles as heat exhaustion and sickness make walking around seem like an impossible task.

One day might be a funny adventure crossing the beach trying to save a 5 year from what looks like an angry monkey on a mission to take a child's ice cream.  At that moment, I am pretty sure I looked exactly like Bruce Willis in one of the Die Hard films.  No lie.  If Hans Grubber had a tail and liked bananas, he still would have had no chance against my quick reflexes.  Child life saved.

Another day might be joyful to the max as you see little kids learning things.  No circles, squares, or triangles will defeat my little team.

Some days I struggle to think I have the ability to tell this community who God is and other days I struggle to love and serve this community like Jesus.  Am I doing all that He wants?

BUT- Everyday I get just a glimpse of God's wonderful creativity- plants with crazy leafish flowers, trees that look like skyscrapers, bugs that look like dinosaurs, beautiful girls that love to play princesses, wonderful boys that seek adventure in everything, monkeys that act like 3-year olds playing on the beach, and sunsets that look like they could sing with color.

Everyday I wake up and I AM HIS.  And that is awesome.

Love and crazy monkeys to you all,
Keri
Colossians 3:14-15

PS.  I promise to try to keep this blog updated weeklyish.  The hecticness has been hard to master, and I am trying to balance my need to be present here.  I thank you so much for your understanding!!

PPS. I also promise to start giving a little blurb about each kids here.  I will post pictures of their adorable and beautiful faces soon.